Burn
by PaSsIoNaTeDrEaMer
Summary: COMPLETE! SEQUAL GRACE POSTED! Derek & Meredith finally start to work things out when tragedy strikes. Time picking up from end of epi 3.04
1. Beginning of the End

**Disclaimer: I dont own it i wish i did.**

**Summary: Derek and Meredith FINALLY get their chance. But what happens when tragedy strikes?**

Meredith is sitting on the edge of her hospital bed waiting for her discharge papers. Derek hasn't stopped by to check on her since he told her he was walking away. She needed to find him to let him know, she picked him, she loves him, she chose him.

Bailey walks in with Meredith's discharge papers and says to her, "Grey, home, in bed for a week. Do NOT over work yourself. We need you back here as soon as you're well. No get, go home." She starts to walk out when Meredith speaks up, "Dr. Bailey, can I talk to you?" Bailey turns toward Meredith. "Dr. Bailey, he ended it. Derek walked away. I told Finn I chose Derek. No matter how against the rules it is, I love him. He's 'the one'..." Bailey sighed and sat down beside Meredith. "Is he REALLY the one, Grey?" Meredith nods. "Then I suggest you find him and tell him what you're feeling. Even though I don't agree with it, I think everyone deserves a right to go after what they feel is right. Look, here we are again, Grey, bothering me with YOUR love life. I told you before, this effects my day. Now, go, go home before you ruin my day any more." She smiles at Meredith and stands up. "Um, Dr. Bailey..." Bailey laughs, "I'll tell him you're leaving. NOW GO GREY!"

Meredith had walked through the doors of SGH when Dr. Bailey saw Derek running toward Meredith's room. She stopped him, "She's already gone. Didn't you walk away from her Shepard? Do you really think you need to keep leading her on then letting her crash to the ground? She's a human being, shes not your plaything, your puppet to just string along when you feel the need to have her. Shes vulnerable and shes still broken. Shes still broken from the LAST time you broke her heart. That being said, she's going home, and asked me to tell you she needs to talk to you. Don't you hurt her again Shepard, or you will have to mess with me." Bailey walked away before Derek could even get a word in edgewise.

Meanwhile, Addie and Mark were having an early lunch at the hotel. They were reconnecting although Addie was still leary of his being in Seattle. They were working on rebuilding their relationship, but at this point, they had to become friends again, not just the others friend, with benefits.

When they finished their lunch, Mark had to run up to his room to grab some paperwork and change clothes and Addie walked up with him. He came out of the bathroom with nothing but his boxers on, not thinking it would make Addie uncomfortable. She shifted on the side of the bed, and he noticed her reaction. He decided that as a joke, he would but some "McSteamy moves" on her. Suprisingly, she gave in to him. They made passionate love and realized they did, in fact, still love one another. Since Addie had finally let go of Derek, she felt something in that moment with Mark, she hadn't felt in years.

Derek got off early and went straight to Meredith's house hoping to catch her home alone. He needed to talk to her, explain himself, find out if she was really okay. He knocked on the door. No answer. He knocked again, and the door opened. It hadn't been shut all the way. He poked his head into the house, "Meredith..." No answer still. He heard music upstairs. He gently shut the door, took off his jacket and made his way toward the music. He peeked into Meredith's room, no one was there. He continued down the hall as the music got louder. The bathroom door was cracked so he knocked. Still no answer. "Meredith...?" He pushed the door open to see her in the bathtub. Naked. Beautiful. He could hardly compose himself. He felt his love for her burn brighter and stronger than ever before.

He cleared his throat as he was staring her naked body lying in the bubbles. She heard him this time and jerked her head toward him and jumped. "Derek Shepard! What are you doing here?!" She didn't know whether to be upset or ecstatic that he was standing there. In her bathroom. Smiling his McDreamy smile at her. Then she realized again, she was NAKED in the BATHTUB. "GET OUT! Derek I'm in the bathtub!" He smiled at her modestly and began to unbutton his shirt. He slowly took his shirt off and Meredith, still looking shocked, watched him. He was seducing her. She didn't know how to react. "What, what are you doing Derek?" She stuttered. He had this effect on her, she was weak in the knees, her heart was aflutter. He locked the door, took of his pants and walked toward her. "Well, Dr. Grey, I'm about to examine you. You DID just have surgery, and I think you need a thorough examination." He smiled again, only this time, he was blushing.

As he sat behind her in the bathtub, he ran his hands over her naked body, trying to absorb every curve, every inch of her existence. He didn't ever want to forget how she felt with her body pressed against his. The way they fit together was unbelievable. The shapes of their bodies when touching, 'fit'. Meredith closed her eyes and savored his touch. The way he made her feel inside, it made her toes tingle. She was more in love with him now than she had ever been. He began to kiss the back of her neck. His hands caressing her body, she turned to face him. His deep blue eyes pierced her soul. "Meredith Grey, I love you with every once of my being. I've always loved you. I tried to fight it. I tried to walk away..." She kissed him. Softly at first, then more aggresively. He pulled away, "We shouldnt...you are still recovering from a major surgery..." She took his hand and placed it over her heart. "Feel that? That's what its all about. Im fine, I need you. All of you. Right now."

The next morning, Meredith wakes up to Derek sitting on the edge of her bed. He caresses her face and smiles. She reaches up and touches his hand, "Derek, this time, is it real?" Her face was filled with doubt, he could see it plain as day. He smiled at her, "This time, it's forever." He reaches behind him and presents Meredith with breakfast and coffee. "Ohh breakfast in bed huh, you're really sucking up. What did you do this time?" She was smiling at him. "I almost made the biggest mistake of my life by walking away from you. I'm trying to make it up to you." She could see the sincerity in his eyes. She touched his hand, "What time do you have to be in today?" He began to undress. "What are you doing?" He laid in bed beside her, "Spending the day in bed with you." Surprised, she asked him, "Don't you have to work?" He shook his head, "Today, it's all about you, Meredith. You deserve it. You earned my full attention for 24 hours."

Derek waited on Meredith hand and foot all day. He was at her beckon call trying to make up for all the times he missed and screwed her life up. He was trying to put her back together, to fix the broken woman sitting in front of him. He had lost track of time, when his pager suddenly went off. He ignored it and continued to hold Meredith in his arms. They slept entangled in one another throughout the night. Meredith was in utter bliss. She finally got what she had wanted. Her McDreamy.

Beep Beep Beep. His pager was going off again. Meredith slowly opened her eyes and looked at the clock. 3:14 am. "Derek," She whispered. "Derek," nudging him and whispering a little louder. He didn't move. She began to panic being he wouldn't wake up. "Derek!" She yelled. Nothing. Not one movement. Not one sound. She rolled him over and to her utter horror saw the worst thing any woman in love could ever see. His eyes had rolled back in his head, his lips were turning purple. He wasn't breathing. She felt for a pulse. It was there, but barely. "DEREK! WAKE UP!" She was hysterical by now and even though she should have called 911 she wasn't functioning properly. Izzie heard the commotion and came running into her room. "Mer, whats wrong? What's all the yelling about?" She noticed Meredith was sitting over Derek crying hysterically and when she walked closer, she could see why. She quickly grabbed the phone and called 911. Within minutes the ambulance was there whisking Derek off to SGH. Meredith was in no shape to drive, so she and Izzie followed in Izzie's car.

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	2. Falling Tears

It was all a blur to Meredith. She sat in the waiting room with Izzie while she waited on Derek's diagnosis. She was afraid she would never see him again. Never touch him again. She was doing all she could to hold the tears back when suddenly, her thoughts were interruped by Doctor Bailey. She had 'that look' on her face. The look that told her he was gone. She looked back down at her hands as Dr. Bailey placed her hand on her shoulder. "Meredith," she whispered. "No, no no no, " Meredith just kept shaking her head and repeating the word "no". Bailey hated to see her intern so broken. Even in his condition, he was breaking her. "You need to go see him," Bailey whispered to her. Meredith's head shot up, "See him?" she questioned. Bailey shook her head, "He's not gone Meredith. He's not awake either, but he is still alive." Meredith felt a rush of adrenaline as she stood up and asked Bailey what room he was in. " Now, Grey, before you get yourself too excited, you need to know what happened." Meredith sat back down absorbing every word Bailey was telling her. "...less than a year. I'm so sorry Meredith." Again, Meredith was breaking. Falling apart after learning her one true love was actually dying. He had a brain tumor in an inoperable spot. This is what caused his seizure earlier that night. Of all things for a neurosurgeon to be dying from. A damn brain tumor. Life sure has an ironic way of kicking your ass.

She slowly walked into the hospital room that was occupying Derek. He lay there motionless. Pale, his life slowly draining out of him. Meredith choked back her tears as she sat on the bed next to him and grabbed his hand. The tears fell for well over an hour. She said nothing to him. All she did was hold his hand silently urging him to come back to her. She was exhausted and finally lay her head on his chest and cried herself to sleep. Izzie was standing at the door watching them as she noticed Derek's eyes flutter open. He looked at her. Then he looked down at Meredith holding on to him for dear life crying in her sleep. "What happened? Why am I here and what's going on?" He questioned. Izzie knew it was not her place to tell him, but he had a right to know. She paged Dr. Bailey and sat quietly in the chair next to his bed. "Bailey is coming to explain things Derek. But..." she trailed off. "Derek, you have to live every day like its going to be your last. Treasure her, give her everything she deserves and more. Give her enough to last her a lifetime..." He looked at her like she was either insane or knew something he didn't. He was about to speak when Bailey walked in . "Ahh Dr. Shepard, we didn't expect you to wake so soon." He glanced up at her.

"What's wrong with me Miranda. Damnit tell me," He was getting angry. He hated not knowing what was going on. His outburst awoke Meredith and she shot up staring into those piercing blue eyes. She smiled and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck whispering, "I love you I will always love you I want to spend every second of my life with you I'll give it all up for you Derek just to have our time together," she didnt pause between sentences long enough to breathe. He was definitely confused now. She pulled back and touched his cheek. He looked into her eyes which went straight to her sould. "Mer, what's wrong with me?" She bit her lip as she felt the tears come rushing back. Suddenly, she jumped up and ran out of the room. She couldnt bear hearing his prognosis again.

Bailey explained to Derek what was happening and she noticed as he took it all in he could see him searching for answers. He was trying to figure out how he was going to fix this or get it fixed. No one expected him to just sit back and take it. He had worked far too hard and lost so much to just give up now. He knew he had made mistakes, he was finally trying to do the right thing. What hurt him the most, is that even though he was finally where he wanted to be with Meredith, he was still breaking her heart into a million little pieces. He decided right then and there, he would survive.

zzie found Meredith sitting in the stairwell, head between her legs hyperventhilating. She knelt down beside her, " Mere, breathe, in, out, breathe." Meredith looked up at her, "I, I, I, Can't do, do this," She was gasping for air. Alex walked in in the middle of what was going on and saw Meredith and picked her up and carried her to the nearest on call room. He grabbed a bag, "Breathe into this, slowly, nice and easy." Izzie watched on as she saw how caring Alex was being to Meredith. She smiled to herself. Meredith looked up at Alex and all the memories of Derek and her in the supply closet came rushing back to her. The day she was afraid her mother would die alone. The day she had to kill her first patient. The day he was there for her, comforting her just as Alex was now. She began to sob and laid her head on Alex's chest. "What will I do without him?" Her question was sincere. She honestly did not know the answer to that. "Shhh, Mer, just close your eyes..." With that she slowly drifted to sleep in Alex's arms, happy she was comforted by someone who cared about her.

Derek was going crazy with worry. Where was she? What happened to her? Why did she run away like that? Was she OK? It took all he had not to jump up and search for her. Izzie walked into the room seeing how frantic he was, "Don't worry, She's with Alex in the on call room." His eyes widened, Izzie laughed. "NO they arent doing that. I found her in the stairwell hyperventhilating and Alex w alked in. He picked her up and took her in there to get her calmed down. She fell asleep and he promised he would look after her while I came to check in on you." She sat down in the chair beside his bed, "How are you?"

He dropped his head, " I will not leave her. I wont break her again. .Im going to fight this and fix it. I know i can and I know just the doctor that can do it." He looked up at her, his blue eyes burning. She felt the intense gaze and it pierced through her. He was serious. He would live or die trying. He was proving to her and everyone else, he would survive for Meredith.

Meredith woke up the next morning. Alex still cradling her in his arms. She smiled finally realizing what a great friend he was. She sat up, wiped her tears from her eyes and decided to go see Derek. She had just ran out on him when he needed her to be strong. She slowly crept to the door trying not to wake Alex when the door swung open. "George!" She exclaimed wide eyed. "What , Meredith, What is going ON?!" Knowing he had the wrong idea, she rolled her eyes. "Not what you think,"She let out a little laugh. She walked toward Derek's room explaining to George what happened the night before. By the time they reached his room, he was hugging her telling her how sorry he was. He looked like he could almost cry. Knowing the woman he loved so much , was not only in love with another man, but she was falling apart right before his eyes. He wanted so much to hold her in his arms forever. Tell her it would be okay. Tell her he would take care of her. He held back though, he knew her heart belonged to Derek.

She walked into his room. He had his head buried in medical journals, flipping the pages anxiously like he was on the brink of finding the answer. He didn't hear her come in. She stood silent, watching him, watching his every movement, trying to memorize what she thought were her last days with him. She smiled, fighting back more tears, she began to speak but her voice was caught in her throat. He looked up at her. He smiled. Damn him, he's still got it, she was thinking. She returned the smile and collapsed in his arms. He gently stroked her head as she snuggled close to him. She wanted to remember everything. Every touch, every smell, every breath. All the trivial details she wanted forever etched in her brain and her heart.

"I'm going to fix this," he told her. She turned to look at him. "What are you going to do Derek, surgery on yourself? If you can pull that off, I will be your slave for life," She laughed. He smiled back at her. "No," he began, "I know one surgeon who has ever operated on this type of tumor. She did it more than once successfully. I think she has it in her to do it one more time. I am going to talk with the Cheif later about it, and if it's a go, I'm having this surgery done. It may kill me trying, but damnit, id rather die knowing I did everything in my power to be here with you rahter than watch you die with me." She looked up at him, "Who's the doctor?" He paused, catching her gaze and holding it. He whispered, "Your mother." 


	3. Decisions

Voiceover: You know, life does havea way of kicking your ass. My mother, of all people, to be able to operate on the love of my life. My mother, who is in advanced stages of altzheimers, my mother who barely knows my name, my mother who was never around when I was just a little girl. My mother. The best damn surgeon on the west coast was going to operate on Derek, altzheimers or not. 

Derek touched her hand, "Meredith?" She looked at him, her eyes full of tears. So many questions, so many worries rushed over her. "I know you don't understand, but i HAVE to do this Mere, I have to TRY and she is the ONLY surgeon to EVER successfully complete this operation..."he trailed off as she began to speak.

"Derek, my mother is sick. Very sick. She doesn't even know my name half the time. How the hell do you expect her to operate on your brain?!" Meredith was getting upset now. She was almost yelling. "Seriously Derek, what happens mid surgery when she forgets where she is and what shes doing. You will just lay there and die. DIE derek, when we COULD be spending our last days together happy, you may go a helluva lot earlier than you should!" She stormed out of the room, tears flowing freely again.

Derek sighed, he knew she was right. He knew the chance in this. He just knew he had to do everything he could to TRY to survive. Even if this meant risking everything to be with her. Derek was deep in thought when a knock on the door interrupted him. He looked up. "Cheif Webber, Im glad you're here..."

"Derek, I hear you want Ellis to operate on you?" He looked skeptically at Derek wondering if this tumor was making him about half crazy. Derek nodded. "You do know that she's in NO state to do this Derek. She is rarely even in this time period. She's reliving her past as an intern most days. She could freeze up and leave you there, open, on the table, and you will die Derek. Die. What do you think that will do to Meredith? You realize how selfish you are acting..."

Derek angrily replied, "Selfish? You're calling me selfish? YOU the man who had an affair with a woman you could never have, is calling ME Selfish? Im trying to make things RIGHT. Im trying to make sure i dont EVER break Meredith again. I KNOW shes living her days in the past, why do you think I am putting so much trust into her? She was the best, hell she still is. And if she still thinks shes a surgeon, those memories never leave you, altzheimers or not. I have complete faith in her and you should too! " He dropped his head, "Talk to her chief, If she doesnt do it, I will find someone else who will." Derek looked back at the chief only to see Meredith standing behind him, tears dripping down her face.

"I think Derek's right." To everyone's surprise, Meredith was actually agreeing with this. "I mean, she IS the best and if she still thinks she's the best, then there's a very good chance she can pull this off. I mean, maybe it will be healing for her too. Maybe if she can at least hold on to her medical career, she won't die alone." Her voice was almost a whisper, she looked at the chief. "Please Dr. Webber, make this happen. I cannot lose him, not again. If i break again,I wont be repairable. I want you to do whatever Derek wants, not matter how crazy and insane the idea may be."

Dr. Webber nodded, stood up, and looked back at Derek, "I'll set it up now. I'm making you sign a contract before though, liability, you know." Derek nodded. Dr. Webber left his room leaving only Derek and Meredith alone. Together. Staring into one anothers souls.

Derek was the first to speak, "Thank you. Thank you for being by my side, for supporting me, thank you for being you." All Meredith could do was nod and think to herself, what have i done?


	4. Surprises

**Disclaimer: Still dont own it, wish i did**

**A/N: More reviews! Thanks all! This chapter just kind of came to me, even I wasnt expecting it! ENJOY! **

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A Few days later: The day of Derek's Surgery

Meredith paced the room watching the clock. It as 4am. Derek was to be prepped for surgery within the hour. Ellis was most coherent earlier in the morning so they decided to do the surgery as early as possible. Thoughts filled her head as she watched him sleep. What if this was the last time he would look so peaceful, sleeping so soundly. What if she never got to touch him again. What if she never got to kiss him, hold him, be with him again. Damnit, she thought to herself, stop with the what if's. My mother is the best damn surgeon out here, altzheimers or not. She looked back at him, surprised to see, he was looking back at her.

"Meredith," he whispered to her. He patted the bed motioning for her to sit beside him. She obeyed. He took her hand in his, "Meredith, I know its fast, I know we just are beginning to work things out, but..." he trailed off. "I can't go through this alone, Mer. I can't go through this knowing things between us arent perfect. There are so many things I want us to experience together, so many adventures to have. I want to grow old with you Meredith, spend the rest of my life with you." She was listening intently to what he was saying trying to figure out just where he was going with this confession. "Meredith," he said again. "I was wondering..."he paused. "Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife. Right now, today, before the surgery?" He looked at her with hopeful eyes.

She just stared at him. Did she just hear him right? He wants to get married. Right now. Before his surgery? She must have sat there quietly for a while, she noticed his face begin to fall. Realizing he was serious, she nodded. "Of course I will Derek. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of our lives together, beit another a few hours or fifty more years." He embraced her and held her like he would never let go.

There they were, standing in the chapel of the hospital. All their friends gathered around, even Addison. Meredith and Derek were getting married. The priest spoke, "Meredith, Derek has written his own vows, he will now recite them to you." Meredith looked up at a nervous smiling Derek. He squeezed her hand.

"Mere, I have loved you since the first night we met. Before I ever saw your face. I saw you at the bar and i just had a feeling. I knew you were the one for me. The situations we have been through over the past few months, they were tests. Tests to make sure we would stand the test of time. We succeeded. We were always brought back to where we belong: in one anothers arms. Mere, I will love you every single day for the rest of my life. I will give you everything you dreamed and more. I will be your shoulder to cry on, your rock to stand against. I will be there through everything. We will have tons of children, travel together, explore anything and everything that you dream. I promise Meredith Grey, I will never break you again."

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she smiled at him. It was her turn. "Derek," she choked out. "I have loved you since you woke up on my floor the morning after. The way you looked in the morning, I knew i wanted to see that every day for the rest of my life. Derek, we have been through alot, and I believe it only made us stronger. It made us realize how important life is and to not let it pass us by. We have to live in the moment otherwise we blink and it will all be gone. I love you Derek Shepard, I want to spend every moment for the rest of my life showing you. My heart is no longer broken. You have fixed it Derek. You repaired me and I will never forget that."

Cristina handed them their rings, which she rushed out to get once she heard the news. She picked out two matching bands that when placed side by side, fit together. They slipped the rings on one anothers fingers, tears filled both their eyes. The priest smiled, and said "Ladies and gentlement, I would like to be the first to announce Dr. & Mrs. Dr. Derek Shepard." The room eruped in laughter, clapping and congratulations. Derek pulled her in for the most amazing kiss they had ever had.

It was time. They were prepping him for his surgery. The chief walked to the nurses station where Meredith was standing, "She's here." He nodded toward Ellis who came walking up beside him. "Meredith, I hear you got married. You're only 18 Meredith, I dont know what you were thinking. Well you never were the one to make the right choice." She turned and walked toward Derek's room. Meredith dropped her head. "It's not one of her good days, is it?" The chief placed his hand on her shoulder and shook his head.

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Read and Review please! The more reviews The more i write! 


	5. The Unthinkable

**Disclaimer: Still down own it! Don't own the song either!**

_**Song: Open Your Eyes**_

_**Artist: Snow Patrol**_

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Meredith sits in the gallery watching as her mother performs her magic on the love of her life. Cristina sits to one side, George and Izzie on the other. She never tore her eyes from Dereks beautiful sleeping face.

_All this feels strange and untrue _

_And I won't waste a minute without you _

_My bones ache, my skin feels cold _

_And I'm getting so tired and so old_

_The anger swells in my guts _

_And I won't feel these slices and cuts _

_I want so much to open your eyes _

_Cos I need you to look into mine_

Tears should be streaming down Meredith's face but she can't cry anymore. She had cried far too much since all of this had began. Thinking back to way it all began, she smiled...

Flashback:

_MEREDITH: Dr. Shepard._

_DR. SHEPARD: Dr. Shepard? This morning it was Derek. Now it's Dr. Shepard._

_MEREDITH: Dr. Shepard we should pretend it never happened._

_DR. SHEPARD: What never happened? You sleeping with me last night? Or you throwing me out this morning. (He is very amused.) Because both are fond memories I'd like to hold onto._

_MEREDITH (serious): No. There will be no memories. I'm not the girl in the bar anymore and you're not the guy. (Dr. Shepard is smiling) This can't exist. You get that, right?_

_DR. SHEPARD (nods): You took advantage of me and now you want to forget about it._

_MEREDITH: I did not take …_

_DR. SHEPARD (interrupts): I was drunk, vulnerable and good looking and you took advantage._

_MEREDITH (smiling): Okay I was the one who was drunk and you are not that good looking._

_DR. SHEPARD: Maybe not today. Last night? Last night I was very good looking. I had my red shirt on. My good looking shirt. You took advantage._

_MEREDITH: I did not take advantage._

_DR. SHEPARD (smiling): Want to take advantage again? Say Friday night?_

_(Meredith is a little shocked)_

_MEREDITH: No. You're an attending. And I'm your intern._

_(Dr. Shepard looks like he wants to kiss her)_

_MEREDITH: Stop looking at me like that!_

_DR. SHEPARD: Like what?_

_MEREDITH (adamant): Like you've seen me naked._

_(He's smirking now)_

_MEREDITH: Dr. Shepard! This is inappropriate. (Dr. Shepard seems confused) Has that ever occurred to you?_

End Flashback

The beeping and buzzing of monitors snapped her back to reality. She looked down at her mother who was looking around the room with a confused look on her face. "I shouldnt be here. I'm just an intern! I dont know how to do brain surgery!" She was becoming hysterical. Derek's stats were falling rapidly and Meredith's heart was sinking.

She stood up and ran out of the gallery, threw on some scrubs and rushed into the OR. No one tried to even stop her. She grabbed the scalpal and wondered what the hell she was doing. She had stood in with Derek on some of his surgeries, but hell she had no idea what she was doing. She remembered one time Derek had told her, "Take it on faith." She took a deep breath, and began to cut.

_Get up, get out, get away from these liars _

_Cos they don't get your soul or your fire _

_Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine _

_And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time_

_Every minute from this minute now _

_We can do what we like anywhere _

_I want so much to open your eyes _

_Cos I need you to look into mine_

She found the tumor. Damn it was big and it was intertwined with so many nerves, now she realized WHY it was considered inoperable. She wiped her head and realized they would be in here a while, especially since she had no idea what she was doing.

Bailey and the Chief were in there with her, walking her through the procedure. Neither tried to stop her, they knew what she had to do to save his life. They watched her closely, her precision, her intensity, her love poured into every cut she made. She was going to save her husband's life and everyone in the room knew it. Love does that to you. It gives you superhuman powers and no one had the right to tell her different.

Amazed at herself, Meredith removed the last part of the tumor from Derek's brain, and asked if Dr. Bailey would close him up. She stepped around to the side of the table and grabbed Derek's hand. "It'll be okay Derek, you're going to be okay..." God, I hope he's okay, she thought to herself.

_All this feels strange and untrue And I won't waste a minute without you_

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	6. Author's Note

A/N Thanks 

_Thanks to all my reviewers! I honestly had no idea where this story was going when I started writing it. This is not my FIRST Grey's fic, but its my most passionate. Its my best, i believe._

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**To My Reviewers:**

IslandGurl90: I'm proud of her too! She needed something like that to make her realize not only what a wonderful surgeon she is, but also how deep her love for Derek is.

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Erdoctor15: Thank you! I'm really glad you're liking it!

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larimausi: WOW! What an amazing compliment! Thank you SO much! It truly means alot to me!

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FauxPoe: Thanks for your multiple reviews! I have more coming soon!

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Pita: Thanks so much! The next should be up later tonite!

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greysaddict: There's the twist! Hope you liked it!

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sureshipper: Thanks so much for the review!! She did it alright!

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Lizzie: Your review means alot to me! I have followed some of your fics, you're writing is GREAT! I'm working on the spacial issues :) Thanks again!

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littlemiss: Thanks!!! Hope to update later this evening!

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Next chapter coming soon! 


	7. Memories

**Disclaimer, you know i dont own it **

**To my Reviewers! YALL ROCK! Thanks SO Much for giving me the motivation to continue! I really worked hard on this last chapter! Hope you like it!**

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Sitting by his bed with Meredith, she kept thinking about what happened. How she ran in and took control. How she watched her in awe of how amazing Meredith was. Taking control. Taking his life in her own hands. Fighting for the man she loved. Something clicked with Ellis at that moment. She realized truly how special Meredith was. She reached over and took her hand. Meredith looked up at her. "I'm proud of you Meredith. I've never been so proud of you. I don't know how long I will be here for, but I had to let you know how much you mean to me." Meredith's eyes filled with tears. She had finally gotten the approval she yearned for her whole life. She knew her mother wouldn't remember it tomorrow but that's not what mattered. What mattered was now she knew.

Izzie and the others walked in, "How are you?" she asked Meredith. Meredith didn't reply. She just watched him sleep. "You were amazing Meredith. Your first time solo was not only brain surgery, but brain surgery on Derek, of all people." Meredith wasn't listening to Izzie, just focused all her attention on Derek, willing him to open his eyes. Izzie noticed Meredith's face and how focused she was, "He will be fine Mere. Once he wakes up, he will tell you, everything's going to be okay."

Meredith finally looked up at her. "If he ever wakes up." She shifted her focus back to Derek right as she saw his eyes begin to flutter. Her heart skipped a beat and all of Meredith's friends gathered around his bed. His eyes fluttered again, this time they opened. Wide striking blue eyes darted around the room, looking at the faces that looked back at him. He reached his hand up to the bandage on his head. Confused, he focused on Meredith. "Are you my doctor?"

Meredith froze, "Derek, its me, its Meredith," Her voice quivered as she spoke. He searched her face trying to figure out why she was calling him Derek, instead of Dr. Shephard. "It's me sweetie, Meredith. Your wife." He jerked his head and pierced her soul with his eyes, "You're not my wife! Where is Addison?"

That was when she lost it. He didn't remember. She botched his surgery, causing him to lose partial memory. It was her fault he didn't know who she was. It was her fault he thought he was still married to Addison. She had sealed her own fate when she burst into the OR to save the man she loved. She dropped his hand and fled. She ran down the hallway where she bumped into none other than, Addison.

She couldnt handle this. Not right now. Addison called out to her, "Meredith, how is Derek? How was the surgery?" Meredith never slowed down. She never even looked back. The tears were flowing freely now and even though he wasnt doing it on purpose, he was breaking her. Again. She stopped when she reached the parking lot, stopping to let the rain beat down on her face. She was trapped. Trapped in a dark room with no where to go. She felt clausterphobic. She felt as tho she could die, then and there. A hand touched her shoulder. She turned expecting to see George or maybe Izzie. When she turned around, Addison held her arms out to hold her.

She fell into Addison's arms, not really caring who it was or why she cared so much. She needed comfort, a friend, a shoulder to lean on. If this meant it was Addie who was going to be that person, so be it. Addie stroked her hair and cradled her like a child. "Shhh, Meredith, it will be okay. Richard told me what happened. I'm so sorry. This isn't your fault. It's mine. I should have let him go when I realized how much he loved you. I shouldn't have stayed in Seattle. I'm sorry Meredith. Im sorry I stole so much of your time with him. So many memories that could have been prevented." By now, Addie was crying with Meredith. They were bonding.

Back in Derek's room. "Where is my WIFE? What am i doing in SEATTLE? How did I get to Seattle? We live in Manhatten!" Derek was furious. No one was giving him the answers he wanted to hear. Finally, Mark walked in. "Finally! Someone who will tell me what's going on! Mark, buddy, what's going on here and why are we in Seattle?" Mark, a bit taken aback, had NO idea why Derek was being so civil with him He looked questionably at Dr. Webber. "Mark?"

Dr. Webber motioned for Mark to meet him in the hall. Mark nodded and slowly backed out the door. Dr. Webber explained to Mark that Derek was having a touch of amnesia. He didnt know he and Addison were divorced. He has NO recollection of Meredith. He still thinks he lives in Manhatten." Mark nodded, trying to take it all in. Everyone had finally gotten what they wanted, the loves of their lives, and this happens. Mark sighed, walked back into Derek's room, about to crush him for the second time in his life.


	8. The Bond

**Still dont own it, wish i did**

A/N OK i must say THANK YOU SO MUCH To my reviewers!!!!!!! It means so much to me! Special Thanks to Lizzie, I have read all of your GA fics I believe and to hear you tell me you love my story, really means alot. So, that said, we continue on...

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"Mark, are you going to tell me what's going on and why we are in Seattle? And where the hell is Addison?" Derek was getting agitated as to why everyone was avoiding his question. "Well?"

Mark sat down in the chair beside him and sighed, "Derek, I dont know how to say this, but..." He paused. "You and Addison got a divorce. You walked in on us in the throws one night, and you left. You came to Seattle. You met the love of your life, your wife, Meredith Grey." Mark closed his eyes. "Derek, you and I are no longer 'friends'. Once you caught me with Addison, you and I haven't exactly been on speaking terms. My first day in Seattle, you laid me out for speaking to Meredith. When you caught Addison and me, you just left. Your love for Meredith goes deeper than any love I've ever seen before. I just hope you can find it deep enough in your soul to remember."

Derek looked at Mark like he was insane. "What? Thats crazy! You would never do that to me! Addison and I love one another! Look, if we were divorced, why would i still..." he pauses as he looks at his hand. "be..." He's trying to take it all in..."wearing the ring she gave me..." He trailed off. It wasn't the ring Addie had given him. It was the ring Meredith and he had given to one another earlier that day. He looked back up at Mark, in utter disbelief.

Mark saw the pain in his friends eyes. "Derek, Meredith and you, you were married this morning, before your surgery. The two of you are soulmates, whether you remember it or not. You have to fight for your memories. You have to fight for what you have. You have to fight for Meredith." With that Mark stood up and left his friend to absorb all the new information that was given to him.

Still sitting in the rain, Addison and Meredith were talking. "Addison, why are you being so nice to me? After everything I did to you?" Meredith was still in shock. Derek had no idea who she was. The love they shared had disappeared as quickly as it had come the night they met. She was shattering into a million little pieces and Addison knew it. She had to be there for her. Derek obviously wasn't and Meredith needed a friend. Someone to be strong with her. At that moment, Addison knew what she had to do.

She stood up. "Let's go." Addison held her hand out to Meredith. Meredith looked up at her with questions in her eyes. "I said Let's go. Im not going to sit here and let you just let him forget you. We are going to make those memories of his come back, even if I have to break his heart. NOW Grey, let's go!"

Meredith quickly jumped up, finally realizing why Derek had loved Addie. She was a good person. She had a good heart. She was just strong and used to getting her way. Meredith and Addie walked up to Derek's room and entered together, arm in arm.

Derek looked up , "OH Addie! There you are! Where have you been? I have had the most awful day! First I wake up to a room full of strangers, then Mark comes in and tells me you slept together?! THEN, then, he tells me, we are divorced and someone named Meredith is my wife!" The last part stung Meredith. He really had no idea who she was.  
Addison sat down, looked deep into his eyes and spoke, "Derek, I'd like for you to meet someone," gesturing toward Meredith. He looked at her, something about her WAS familiar though he couldnt figure out why. "Derek, I would like for you to meet Meredith, your wife as of this morning." His head snapped toward Addison. She nodded at him and whispered, "I'll be right back." With that, she walked out of the room, motioning for Meredith to fight like hell for him.

Addison walked out of the room in tears and headed toward her office. She walked in and started digging through the drawers. There they were. The copies of the divorce papers. He had to see them otherwise he would never believe her. She grabbed the papers and headed back toward his room.

Meredith looked timidly at Derek. "Hi," She whispered. He just nodded, looking at her with those eyes. He was studying her and she knew it. He was trying so hard to remember. Normally, him looking at her would turn her on, now, though, was very uncomfortable. She was still breaking. He noticed how she shifted as his eyes moved from one part of her body to the next. Clearly, this was hard on her. He decided to speak first.

"So, wife," he chuckled, "How did we meet?" There was a bit of sarcasm in his voice that ripped Meredith to shreds. She didn't reply. "If you want me to remember, you're going to have to tell me, I may be a neurosurgeon but I'm not a mind reader." He was definitely being a smartass that time. A single tear fell from Meredith's eye. He saw how deeply she was hurting. He motioned for her to come closer. She obeyed and he reached for her hand, hoping that something, anything would come back to him.

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The more reviews the faster the updates! Keep em comin! 


	9. Headaches

**Still down own it...still wish i did**

**A/N: EVERYONE! Thank you SOOO MUCH for your AWESOME Reviews! I tried to squeeze alot in to this chapter, didn't want to draaaaaag it out! Moving on to bigger better storylines! Hope you like it! New chapter coming soon!**

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His hand gently touched hers, and she jerked back. He looked at her questionable. She regained her composure and reached back for his hand. The minute they touched, he felt a sensation of strength, warmth, home. He examined her hands, every knuckle, wrinkle, every inch of them , just trying to remember something, anything. Just as he looked up at her, she brushed her hair back out of her face, and that sparked an image in his head. He saw nothing but the back side of a woman, sitting at a bar, drinking tequila. The woman was brushing her hair out of her face, just as Meredith had done at that moment. He was desperately trying to focus more on the image in his head, but sadly, it disappeared just as quickly as it had come to him. Discouraged, he looked out the window at the rain.

"We met at a bar," she laughed. "Joe's actually I was sitting there doing tequila shots the night before my first day here, you had just come to Seattle You sat down beside me, in your red shirt, your 'good looking' red shirt, as you like to call it," she smiled remembering back to that night. "You told me that if I got to know you, I would eventually love you. At the time, I thought you were just trying to get lucky. Little did I know, it was the truth..." she trailed off, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Suddenly, Derek put his hand to his head, Meredith panicked. "Derek, are you okay? I'm getitng Bailey" She jumped up and ran to find Dr. Bailey. She passed Addie on her way down the hall and didnt even slow down. Addison walked into Derek's room, looking at him wondering what had happened. She saw his hand to his head and the way he was acting. His head snapped to her, "What the hell are YOU Doing here Addison? If you think you're going to win me back, you're WRONG. I left you for sleeping with Mark. I've found someone else. She is amazing Addison, her name is Meredith and I'm deeply in love with her. I suggest you turn around and go right back to New York and Mark where you belong."

Addison was stunned. This was part of the conversation she had the night she came back to him. He was remembering. He remembered everything up to the night she came back. This meant he remembered Meredith. He remembered the pain she had caused him. He was coming back to himself. She tucked the divorce papers under her coat, nodded her head and walked away. Even though she was completely over him, all the painful memories came rushing back to her.

Bailey and Meredith came running back into the room, when Derek saw Meredith his eyes lit up for the first time since his surgery. "Mere! There you are! Oh my gosh, I dont know how to tell you this. My wife is here." Meredith looked confused. She was thrilled he remembered her, but SHE was his wife...wasn't she? "Addison is her name. I caught her sleeping with my best friend so I came to Seattle. I came here and met you Meredith. Im so sorry I didnt tell you sooner. I understand if you dont want to talk to me right now, its alot to take in..." he trailed off.

Meredith jumped into the bed with him, covering him with hugs and kisses. "Oh my god Derek, you're remembering." She was ecstatic that he even knew her name. Up until now, she feared she would never get her McDreamy back.

Again, Derek's hand went to his head. Meredith and Bailey watched him as his face went from shocked to surprised to hurt all at once. Suddenly, he was crying. "Im so sorry Meredith. I should have never stayed with her. I tried to be honorable, I tried to be a husband, I cant believe I hurt you so much. Could you forgive me please. I cant live without you. I love you more than words could ever say. I want to be with you, I want to make babies with you. I want YOU Meredith Grey, you and only you." Meredith was crying.

His memories were flooding back to him faster than he could keep them under control. It was like living the past year of his life in minutes. Within the hour he had regained all of his memories up until the surgery. He remembered the wedding that morning, he remembered waking up, hell he remembered not remembering. There was something still tugging at his heart though. Something he SHOULD have known, but didn't.

Bailey spoke up. "Glad to have you back Dr. Shepard. I want you to know your wife here, she saved your life." He looked at her. "Her mother froze during your surgery and she was not going to wait around while you laid on that table with your brain exposed. She came in, took control, and just as you taught her, she removed your tumor. She saved your life." He looked at Meredith with tearfilled eyes.

"I knew it was you. While I was under, I had this feeling. I felt you. I felt your hands, your breath, your essence. I knew you were there with me. OH Meredith, I'm so proud of you. Words will never explain how proud I am of you. You are the love of my life. The reason my world goes around. I am forever debted to you not only for saving my life, but for being the woman of my dreams." He grabbed her and held her close. He was never letting her go again.

She looked up at him, she had never looked so happy. "Derek, " she whispered as he started to fall asleep. "Hmmmmm, " he replied. She paused, took a deep breath, "I'm pregnant."


	10. Author Thanks

This completes the first chapter in my series. GRACE is now posted. Please jump over there t ofind out what happens next!

Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! Yall are the reason the story continues! I am motivated by your comments and the more reviews I get, the more motivated I am to please! Please be sure to check out Grace!

Enjoy!

I also started a smaller fic, something different, "Can't let go" Its more of an AU fic ;) Thanks again all! Off to write more! 


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